


love will tear us apart again

by marilynmansonfuckme (orphan_account)



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst, F/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:54:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24385408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/marilynmansonfuckme
Relationships: Brendon Urie/Dallon Weekes, Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	love will tear us apart again

Her name was Brenda. She was gorgeous, tall with long dark brown hair, shiny and always neatly brushed, that fell in even bangs above her pale face. She had big, dark eyes and soft, full lips, perfect curves. And she was smart, and sweet, and funny, and Ryan loved her with all of his heart. He knew they were only twenty-one, but he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Brenda, and he knew she felt the same way.

And then, it happened. She proposed to him. They were sitting on the porch of Ryan’s friend’s parents’ house, holding hands and looking at the stars, young and in love, and she proposed to him. “Ryan?” Her voice was nervous, but strong, beautiful. Ryan’s heart felt like it was going to burst with love for her. “Yes, Bunny?” That was Ryan’s pet name for Brenda; Bunny. It suited her, he thought, and always made her blush. Now was no exception, and her face flushed red. “P-please, will you marry me?” She held out a ring, real diamonds, and it was everything he had ever dreamed of. But he was twenty-one, they both were, and he was nervous. Scared, even. He panicked in the moment, although he wanted with all his heart to accept, and he blurted out the first thing that came into his head. “N-no.”

Brenda’s face fell. He had never seen her look so sad before, those beautiful brown eyes filling up with tears. “Bunny, no, I didn’t mean-- Bunny, I love you-- I really want to—” Through the tears pouring down her face, Brenda forced a smile. “N-no, I get it, Ryan. I wouldn’t wanna marry me either.” He tried to explain himself, but she didn’t let him. “I-I love you, Ryan.”, she said softly, slipping the ring into her purse. “I-It’s okay, I can return this.” Ryan’s heart broke more and more as she walked away.

Fourteen years passed. Ryan was thirty-five now. He had never been in another relationship, never married, no kids. It was… okay, mostly. Lonely, but okay. He had a job as a writer for a popular magazine, and he had a lovely dog named Dottie, and his own apartment, and most days, at least, he was able to lie to himself that he wasn’t still in love with Brenda. And then he ran into her, just by chance, on the street. She looked amazing. Her brown hair was in a short bob, with a bit of grey coming through at the roots, and she wore a modest white sweater-dress, nothing like anything she would’ve worn before. She was with a tall, dark-haired, blue-eyed man who looked to be around their age, and two children were at their feet, a five-year-old girl with black hair and blue eyes, and a two year old girl, with brown hair and darker brown eyes. The younger girl, especially, was the spitting image of Brenda. They all looked… happy. Really, really happy. 

Ryan tried to walk past unnoticed, but she gasped and smiled. “Oh my gosh, Ryan? Ryan Ross?! Oh, it’s been ages!”, she gushed, her voice just as beautiful as he remembered. He forced a smile. “Yeah, it's me.", Ryan said softly. She smiled even wider. “This is my husband, Dallon, and our two daughters, Lily and Cheyenne.” What was left of Ryan’s heart broke. “Oh, awesome.” “Do you have any kids, Ryan?” He shook his head no. “Oh. Are you married?” “No.” “Dating anyone?” “Nope.” Her eyes widened slightly, as if something had just clicked in her brain, but she shook her head as if to clear the idea from her brain. No. There was no way he really had meant it when he said he loved her, no way he had never moved on. 

“I, uh, have a dog.”, he said lamely. “Her name’s Dottie. She’s quite nice.” Brenda smiled and nodded. “I bet she is. It was really nice seeing you again. It had been too long.” “Yeah, it really had. Hopefully I’ll see you again some time.” And he walked away, totally not crying. He had made the wrong choice, all those years ago, and the universe was still punishing him for it, making him wonder what his life would be like now if he had married Brenda. Maybe he was just meant to be alone.


End file.
